Have you ever had difficulty getting over an ex partner?
Have you felt that the memories of an ex partner are holding you back from moving on in life and meeting someone new?
Have you experienced a past rejection from someone that keeps running around in your mind and telling you that all future relationship attempts will end the same?
I’m sure we all have had something like this happen at some stage in our lives, haven’t we?
Just think of all the opportunities that are out there to meet someone refreshing and different!
Are you missing those opportunities because of a previous hurt that you are still holding onto?
If so - here are some tips to help you move on.....
1. Allow Space to Grieve By Yourself
Take a few days (at least) to sit with your emotions and let them move through you.
Every time you resist feeling an emotion it goes down to the gym to lift weights – yes, it grows! So if you ignore the frustration, anger, resentment, hurt, or pain that is present in your body, it will only get stronger and come back louder than before until you listen to the signals.
2. Focus on the Part of You That Felt the Most Stifled
In any failed relationship there is bound to be a part of you that felt like it was discouraged by your ex.
Maybe he/she didn’t like your playful side, or how much time you wanted to spend with your friends, or how much time you spent working on your business.
Whatever it was that felt subdued, go and inhabit that side of yourself to the fullest degree.
It is said that you only suffer in a breakup to the extent that you have lost yourself during the relationship… so there might be some leftover negative emotional residue if you felt like you weren’t fully allowed to be yourself around your partner. So go and be who you truly are… you deserve it!
3. Remind Yourself of the Good and the Bad
Part of the reason we get stuck in processing our break up is that we idealise the relationship as a big collection of amazing, emotionally fulfilling times with very little downside. In reality, you may have fought frequently and there were some incompatibilities that drove you mad!
To get a more accurate view of your past relationship, make a note of the things that you loved about the relationship and the things that bothered you about your ex, now weigh these up.
4. Use Your New Found Energy for Growth
With the surge of adrenaline that you get after a break up telling you to get up and get out, you have a huge opportunity.
Get into an exercise routine, learn a new skill or build a new business.
Some of the best art in the world was made by people who had lost love. Utilise this current of emotional energy for your own personal gain. Don't give your power away!
5. See The Emotional Process as a Form of Progress, Not a Path Away From Suffering
If you expect your emotional suffering to decrease in a straight line from A to B, you’re in for a rude awakening.
Re-frame your processing of the breakup as something that generally trends upwards but sometimes moves down a bit also. If you do this and look at your emotional state more realistically you won’t be as taken aback by the down days (e.g. when you see something that reminds you of your ex or smell their favourite fragrance on someone, etc.).
Is Getting Over Your Ex Truly Possible?
Do I still mull over the memory of my ex from time to time? Yes, of course I do. We are all human. And we did have a lot of good times of course.
But when I slow down for longer than a minute and think about why we broke up it was because we weren’t right for each other, even though I thought we were. He is my ex for a reason… just like yours is your ex for a reason. There may have even been other contributing factors such as ‘other people involved’ - if so, it’s better that you found out when you did rather than later. Would you really want to be with that person anyway?
If it was meant to be, then it would have been easier and you both would have fought to keep it going.
But now it’s in the past and all that’s left to do is to let go of it.
They came into your life to teach you a lesson about yourself, and now it’s time to gracefully let go of that person. You are better off for having known them, and you bumped into each other on your life’s journey so that you can better prepare for your next respective relationships or for life in general. Use that experience wisely!
Feel free to contact me on 0403 158 229 or at www.newdae.com.au if you would like to know more about how hypnotherapy can help you to overcome any past relationship hurdles that you may be experiencing.