What Does Your Self-Talk Look Like?
A lot of the time our minds are running so fast with self-talk that we are not even aware of it – this is because it is happening too fast for us to even recognise it is happening!! In addition to this is the fact that this same self-talk is frequently negative. Often it is tainted with guilt about our past or anxiety about our future. This negativity can destroy any seed of hope that we may otherwise have in striving for our dreams and desires.
Our actions are inspired by our thoughts. If we can change the way we think, we can begin to change the actions we take. It is human nature to seek personal growth; whether financially, emotionally, physically or spiritually. Practicing positive self-talk can help us set in motion actions that will bring us greater rewards.
The following are six steps to positive self-talk. By following these steps you will begin to rid your inner conversations of negativity and instead have empowering thoughts. 1. Reduce Your Internal Negative Dialogue
The first step is one of awareness. It will be hard to make a change to positive thinking without being acutely intimate with the thoughts that run through your mind.
Undoubtedly it will not be easy to make a switch if you have a long history or negative self-talk. Your talk became negative over the years due to various factors. For instance, if as a child, your mother repeatedly told you that you were “stupid”, you might believe it to be truly the case. You would find that your inner dialogue would often be filled with talk of “I am so slow” and “it is so hard to learn”. If you constantly tell yourself such negative stories, your actions are going to reflect your low self-esteem. It will be difficult to get very far if you are always putting yourself down.
A common negative talk involves telling yourself “I can’t”. When you say to yourself “I can’t” or “it is too difficult”, you are creating a resistance. Having such a mental block will prevent you from achieving a task you could have otherwise succeeded at.
Anytime you catch yourself saying “I can’t…” turn around and challenge your own claim with, “Why can’t I?” Research shows that most geniuses became the people they are also because of the hard work they put in. So if you would like to be successful, you need to start saying “I can” a lot more.
A great method is to say “Cancel That – It’s Not Correct” each time you find yourself saying something negative, whether in the mind or verbally. The method works if you sincerely have the intent of becoming a positive thinker.
2. Put in Place Some Positive Visualisations
One thing that you may observe is how easy it is for your mind to build negative thought upon negative thought. The chatter not only does not stop but it spins a drama that traps and limits you.
From now on, regularly do this exercise instead. Spin an uplifting story that runs like a movie script. Some visualisation will be helpful. You build on a story with a positive outline. The longer you can tell this story to yourself the better. It is also best if you can make this story one about having all your goals achieved. When you do this, you start to internalise your goals and dreams, as if they are something that you have already achieved.
3. Reduce Those Negative Influences
It is important that you identify external negative factors in your life which may be holding your thoughts hostage. For instance, your mental state can become toxic by being around friends who are negative. If you are not vigilant enough, you will start to adopt their thoughts as your own. Be alert to what your negative influences are. If they come from certain friends, limit your exposure to them as much as you can. Refrain from discussing your plans with people who will be unsupportive of your dreams and goals.
Instead surround yourself with thoughts and actions from people who will empower you. From being uninspired and de-motivated, you will begin to feel uplifted and driven to greater self-growth. The positive energy that they vibrate will start affecting the self-talk that you engage in as well.
Remember that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – believe it or not it’s true! Who you spend time with influences the person you eventually become. Who you are with can elevate you as much as it can bring you down. – Jim Rohn, Motivational Speaker
4. Use Present Tense Self-Talk (Positive, of course)
You may find yourself daunted by the many things you need to do in order to reach your goals. It just seems overwhelming to become the success that you secretly desire for. Your mind gets caught up in an endless stream of worry.
What may be helpful is to concentrate on steps you can take in the present. If you find yourself becoming stuck, stop and say, “What can I do right now?” Change your internal talk from a future anxiety ridden one to one that is about the more manageable present. You cannot control what will happen in the future but you can take the necessary steps now that will build a better tomorrow. Taking the necessary steps requires you to focus your thoughts and inner talk on NOW.
5. Confront Your Fears (If You Find Them Coming Up)
Fear is often what holds you back from your success. You are scared of taking chances because you fear losing the security that you enjoy now. You try to convince yourself that you are happy in your current state when in fact, you are not. Your self-talk may sound positive in your attempt to lie to yourself. But somehow, there is an inner knowing that you are short changing yourself.
Ask yourself what you are afraid of. What can be the worst that can happen? Take a step-by-step approach in breaking down your fears and see if there is any way around to looking at things more positively. When you confront your fears, you will often realise that the worst case scenario is not as bad as you think. In fact, the benefits of change are usually worth the risk. Your inner talk begins to change at this point.
6. Focus on Enjoyable Moments and Be Grateful
It is much easier to have a positive attitude if you focus on the enjoyable moments in life rather than the difficult ones. While there will be challenges, you need to remember that life consists of ups and downs and the good times are forged through the bad.
So choose to fill your mind with positive images and thoughts. Make it a conscious habit until it becomes unconscious as well. Simply bring your mind back every time it goes astray in its thoughts. For a start, if you can be grateful for what you have presently, your self-talk will also change to be in alignment with one of joy. A state of gratitude does wonders for your spirit.
Replacing self-talk from a negative spin to a more positive one is not going to happen overnight. If your mind has ingrained habits of thinking negatively, it will take some work and time. However, if you find yourself often struggling, unable to achieve your goals and talking yourself down, then you should grit your teeth and commit to the process of change.
By following the above tips to positive self-talk, you will experience an improvement in the quality of your life overall. The rewards are plentiful with greater happiness, peace and joy. Best of all, you will feel more empowered. With the change in energy, this means that you are more likely to reach your highest potential and achieve success.
All these tips are great to do as conscious exercises ....and now beyond that how would it be if you could really cement unconscious change with the aid of hypnotherapy? That would be great,right? Contact me if you would like to know more about having a hypnosis session regarding self-esteem and self-worth that really lasts! You will be amazed how hypnosis can help you to be all that you want to be ...and more!
Deidre Evans – New DAE Life Consultancy - Ph 0403 158 229